OK, so you have gone home to your wife so you can go out for a meal with your in-laws. I have had some gin & tonic and got a bit stoned then eaten some food. I’ve been thinking about our liaison today and how I want to proceed with our affair.
Some background: Please see my ‘Disclaimer and context’ post for some background. I will be adding further blogs based on my writings over the last few months but I don’t have time to do all that now because I want to talk about today and my decision to go public with my thoughts and feelings about this situation in which I find myself.
It has been a very strange couple of months with regard to the local government officer (him), the charity manager (me) and her lover (T) – please see my other posts – and today I was going to tell T how strongly I feel about him Love him in fact. But when push came to shove, we were both quite tetchy and whilst there was some flirtation, neither of us was particularly warm. In fact, I felt positively annoyed with him sometimes today and all my attempts at getting him to engage in talking about our relationship and how he feels about me failed miserably :-(. Must be something in the stars/air!
The sensible part of me knows that our affair is just a convenient shag for 2 people looking for some fun outside of their marriages. But, the romantic side of my nature longs for T, his love and some honesty about how he feels about me. Because I know that we are connected and he feels strongly for me but he can’t express that verbally. How like a man!
I do healing and have worked on T over the last couple of months. My intuition compels me to help him progress as a soul both in a holistic healing sense but also sexually, both of which help me too. These 2 methods are both very effective at shifting energy and he has a lot of stuck energy. I oscillate between feeling warmly and compassionately towards him (my higher self) and wanting to smash his face in (my very much lower self) and the two don’t always communicate very well depending on how well I’m feeling at any particular moment. This is something for me to work on myself!
Anyway, today I felt particularly dissatisfied. Satisfied with the sex which I always enjoy with him as we are very compatible and I find him extremely sexy and stimulating. But, due to less emotional input than I would like, I felt less satisfied than previously. See my post ‘Intimacy’.
Anyway, as a result of today’s liaison, I have decided that I will write my feelings down here in the hope that it will help me and any other lovely people out there who may be in a similar situation.
Love and light